The “Passion” Problem

“I need to find work that I'm truly passionate about. Oh, and I will take a pay cut in exchange for all that passion.”

This was the narrative playing and re-playing in my head in my early twenties. At the time, I was progressing up the ladder in an intellectually demanding and, at times, adrenaline-inducing role at an investment bank. Graduating before the Global Financial Crisis of 2007-8, I landed a sought-after spot on the rates trading floor. There were plenty of great things about my job: the money, the high energy environment, smart and engaging colleagues, fancy client dinners (a very big pro for a foodie like myself!), officially no weekend work. But something was missing. I couldn't do it indefinitely.

Following well-meaning advice, I tried to list alternative jobs I could be “passionate" about. And my thought process went along these lines. Travel? Perhaps my dedication to travel itineraries makes me well suited to the travel industry? After all, I rarely feel happier than when I’m globetrotting. Yoga? I’ve discovered the joys of yoga. Maybe I’ll become a yoga instructor. But I’m not amazing at it and unsure I want to put in the hours to become a serious yogi. Interior design? I loved renovating my “doer-upper” flat and creating a home I love. But I also found it stressful at times… Needless to say, with these thoughts swarming my head, I stayed put! I remained exactly where I was, doing exactly what I knew.

Changing the Narrative

Passion is not the best catalyst for action when you find it hard to identify what you are passionate about or most passionate about. After all, the “passion” label itself can feel like a lofty ideal, something you would bet the house on. Then I read something that changed my perspective forever. 

Elizabeth Gilbert talks about what it is to lead a creative life in 'Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear' and contrasts passion vs curiosity. In Gilbert's own words:

"Remember, it doesn't have to be a voice in the desert; it’s just a harmless little scavenger hunt. Following the scavenger hunt of curiosity can lead you to amazing, unexpected places. It may even eventually lead you to your passion - albeit through a strange, untraceable passageway of back alleys, underground caves, and secret doors."*

Gilbert articulates my own discovery that there were things I was interested in, deeply cared about or even loved. Yet to call them my passion did not feel right. I had not committed enough time to these things or know enough about them to loudly proclaim “passion".

The Advantage of Following Curiosities

I find the concept of following my curiosities a powerful one. It gives me permission to take lots of small exploratory steps. Go to the yoga teacher training open day. Network within the travel industry. Develop a “minimum viable product” for that startup idea you have and then iterate it. Starting my own business was once a niggling curiosity of mine. Two businesses later, I’m starting to think it may be one of my passions! All this to say, I’m a believer in following curiosities and taking in the view along the way. Notice what energises you. Get unstuck.

“Curiosity only ever asks one simple question: Is there anything you’re interested in?”*

Granting Permission and Gaining Freedom

Marie Kondo’s philosophy of keeping only what “sparks joy’ gave me the same freedom as this concept of following my curiosities. Rather than over rationalising, when we use the KonMari Method of tidying iwe strengthen our decision-making muscle. We listen to how we feel when we hold each item we own. And then, crucially, we take action! Repeatedly identifying how items make you feel is one of many paths to self knowledge. 

Is it time to look at where you are deploying your limited resources? Is it time to focus on what really matters to you? If you feel stuck, and are looking for a sign, please consider this it! Try out that thing that has piqued your interest. Give yourself the permission to take a small exploratory step. Ditch the pressure. Read that book, research that topic, arrange that relevant coffee chat, attend that event, write that blog! What’s the best that can happen? We never really know how many years we have. And if we dare think about this fact, we might be painfully aware our time is our most precious resource of all.

*Quotations are from Page 238 ‘Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear’ by Elizabeth Gilbert